Your journey never ends. Life has a way of changing things in incredible ways – Alexander Volkov.
It may be a little early to begin reflection posts for the year, but I thought it was an apt time to reflect on what has happened since November last year. Last November, I got my heart broken. There. I said it out loud… in a way. It wasn’t only that that was a massive change in my life; it was the month before I quit my job and put my own feelings before a company. In the months leading up to November, I was fatigued, emotional, drained and all the rest of it. I was still coping with post-travel blues. It is definitely a thing because I missed my travel life so much that I just wanted to fly off to a new place somewhere at the first chance I could get, just to inject that wanderlust back into my life. Everything exploded in my life, shattered it, but not completely. I wouldn’t be anywhere without my amazing friends, incredible family and the friends of family who all consoled me, gave me advice as well as told me to get back up onto my feet. I’m lucky to have them. I know others aren’t so blessed.
I was counting down the days to the new year and what a year it has been… so far. I don’t want to talk about all the individual travels that I’ve done, or the experiences I have had because I am saving that for when 2018 is nearly over. I will say that at the beginning of the year, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I had two trips booked for January and May and I was looking forward them so much. I had a wedding to save for, not my own. Obviously. As for the rest of the year, I have no clue. I didn’t have a job; I worked with Dad stripping walls and knocking them down for the first few months. It was fun, hilarious and hard manual labour. Then, I was ill for the best part of a month. Food poisoning turned into full blown flu after I visited my friend in France for a week of skiing. I always seem to forget that I was quite literally bed-bound, unable to eat more than a couple of crackers at a time. And then the winter finally ended; the days grew longer and life got better.
I got a job, a better one than the last one. I returned to the company that I’ve worked for on/off for the past three years. It isn’t permanent and that suits me fine; I like to know that I can have a little more freedom before I get stuck in the world of work – I’m still forever trying to live that slight backpacker lifestyle, but with a lot more luxury than sleeping on a squeaky bunkbed whilst trying to block out all the grunts, moans and snores of my fellow dormmates. As with all work, there are days that I really don’t want to go in, the mornings that my alarm clock sings a tune far too early for my liking and when I just want to curl under a blanket and do nothing all day. Let’s be honest though, I never do that on my days off. I’m more likely to be sat, typing away at the laptop just like right now.
I wasn’t looking for another relationship. I joked two weeks before I met Warren that I was looking for Romeo from Juliet’s balcony. I certainly did not expect to go to my friend’s wedding – who I hadn’t seen in years – and fall for her big brother. The one thing I told myself after last year was to never have a long-distance relationship again. I broke that rule, didn’t I? I don’t want to say that Warren is the only reason I am so happy now. He’s a pretty massive part of it, obviously, but I’m still very much as independent as ever and I make my own happiness too. There is a reason why I am so much happier. It’s because of an accumulation of things. We both have so much in common. It was strange at first because I couldn’t believe how much we liked the same things. On the other hand, we are so different. It’s good to have that balance because it will never be boring. Warren and boring don’t go together anyway. It’s impossible. The best relationships happen when you least expect it. I read that somewhere. It couldn’t be more true.
A lot of people go through patches in their life where they think that’s it, it’ll never get better. I went through that this time last year. I wanted to run away and escape, but I knew I couldn’t. If anybody who is going through a patch like that right now is reading this, know that it does get better. It might take a year. It might take longer. It’ll take a dose of self-belief, even when you feel like crawling under your duvet and hiding forever. I can’t say Get up and get out there because it’s easier said than done, but there really is light at the end of the tunnel, as cheesy as that sounds.
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Love, Faye xo