Nobody knows anything when they are in their mid-twenties – Matthew Quick.
I’ll be honest, I haven’t been as excited about my birthday this year like the past. There is a lot going on right now. Everything is go, go, go, so it feels like I haven’t had a chance for my feet to touch the ground. Either that, or I’m in the midst of crashing and flying twenty-four, seven at the moment. Perhaps it is that twenty-seven is that one step closer to hitting the thirty mark, which I am nowhere near ready to do. Thirty? Me, thirty? I feel like I should have a sort of plan at that point, let alone executing said plan instead of winging it and seeing what happens. I currently have half my stuff in boxes. I have no job. I’m in a sort of limbo. At least I’m in Ireland as this goes live and my love life is going good. Steady, loving relationship = check.
It is mad how when we are younger, we think everything will slot into place. Boy, were we wrong! I thought I’d have a house and I’d be married and maybe have a child… For my life right now, I couldn’t have that white picket fence kinda life. I definitely cannot afford to have a child as I cannot afford my own outgoings, and I can’t imagine where I would get all the money to get a mortgage. I would love to have these things in the next decade, but right now, I feel too young and too naïve to even think about being a grown-up in that way: a parent. I want to focus on other things, like finally getting a career started.
Sometimes, I really have to have a word with myself and remind myself that I did an incredible thing by going travelling – something I will never, ever regret. At the same time, I wish I had found something career-related beforehand… or tried harder with my freelancing gigs. But then, we can never really say that about anything, regrets and whatnot, because I cherish the people I have met and the friends I have made during my stints of work here and there. Don’t get me wrong, some jobs I really regret, but I was living in the moment, the day to day, and sometimes that is enough.
The thought of turning twenty-seven, when I really think about it, I kinda don’t feel anything. Usually, I’d be worried about hitting some sort of life milestone, but I’m pretty happy with what I’m doing right now. Within the past three and a half weeks, I’ve travelled to three different countries. I’ve experienced three different types of holidays: one of which we went crazy and kinda said fuck the system, and one where I was between fits of giggles and hyperventilation whilst embracing the city’s culture. Who can say that they’ve done that unless they are travelling right now? I may not be in the best place for launching a self-made career, but I am in the perfect place for a new start.
Age is just a number. I look at some of my older friends, my brother who literally has more beans than I do (he is nearly a decade older than me), and I don’t see them as their age. I just assume that everyone is my age because we hang out together. Age doesn’t matter to our peers and our loved ones; it just matters to us, so why do we put such a massive stigma on it? Maybe it is because we want the best for ourselves, and maybe it is because we feel like the hamster wheel is on overdrive, but the clock is also running out to achieve this or that? Each individual has their reasons for why they love or hate – or feel indifferent to – their age.
I don’t even know what I want my goals to be for this year; I just want to be happy. I want my friends and family to be happy, and that is it. Well, I also want to tick off seeing a few more countries before I am twenty-eight. I’m on the bandwagon of thirty before thirty as in thirty countries before the age of thirty. I currently have twelve under my belt, so have a way to go within the next three years. Who am I kidding? I won’t be focusing on a career, I’ll be focusing on making sure I live the best life I can and seeing everything that I want to see. The phrase You only live once is overrated and used to death, but it still has its truth. I don’t want to be on my death bed looking back at all the things I could have done; I want to remember all the things I did. So, with that, I’ll be making twenty-seven a good one.
What do you think about being in your late twenties?
Love, Faye xo