For the two of us, home isn’t a place. It is a person. And we are finally home – Stephanie Perkins.
Warren and I have been living together in our new home for a little over a month and a half now. It has been a hectic time, with starting a new job, moving our things in, arranging furniture and rearranging it again, not to mention the social life that we have had this summer. With us both working full-time and our weekends being jam-packed, the spare time that we have is little. That time doesn’t always equate to us spending it together. Yes, we may be in the same house, even in the same room, but there are times when it feels like we are not spending quality time together. Lately, I have been working away on my blog and on my social media that my head gets so warped about it that I drive myself insane if I haven’t completed a to do list. Warren is a God-send – a patient one at that.
It seems crazy to think that we are so early into this part of our relationship and already we are too busy striving to make a better life that we forget the basics of spending that quality time together. But, isn’t that what part of being in a relationship is all about? Wanting to better your life for your future? Wanting to build on a dream so that you can share it with each other? If you are in it for the long haul, sometimes that sacrifice has got to be made, but then again… when are we going to have these exact moments again if we don’t grab them with both hands right now?
Despite it being early days (just over a year is still early days) in our relationship, there are times when we want to kill each other; there are times when we roll our eyes at each other for not picking something up, or not doing the washing, but the fact that we laugh, we fart and we don’t want to tear each other’s hair out the majority of the time is a pretty good start. That doesn’t mean that we should spend every second together. We are our own persons after all with our own likes and dislikes, our own friends, our own hobbies and passions. Nevertheless, it isn’t a good thing to become strangers with the person you love, the person you have built a life with, the person that is your rock. Of course, strenuous circumstances can take a hold on couples; at that point, it is time to seek your own happiness and find that stability in yourself, but when you live with someone and you see a future with them, making the time for each other is as crucial as striving for a better future together.
The term might sound stupid because you live with your partner. Doesn’t living together mean every night is date night? No. No, it is not. Date night means no phones (for the most part), complete attention to your other half, no stressing about what you need to do, or worrying about work, or anything else for that matter. Essentially, it is a night off from the real world; you can get a little dressed up too, just to make you both feel better. It is an amazing feeling to enjoy the excitement of being your best self every once in a while, especially when your partner definitely sees you at your worst the majority of the time.
NO TV DURING TEA
Warren and I have been a little bit naughty lately because we’ve been watching marathons of Buffy, The Vampire Slayer whilst eating our tea. As much as simply hanging out with your partner does bring you closer together, it is far better to have an actual conversation whilst you eat, even if it is just to catch up about what you’ve done during the day, to ask how each other’s day at work went and to make exciting plans for the future. Making as short as twenty minutes time to catch up with no distractions will be far better than intermittent chats during the ad break or a boring part of a TV show.
DO YOUR OWN THING AT THE SAME TIME
If they have a gym class on a Tuesday after work, that is prime time for you to delve deep into your passions too. Just because you live with someone doesn’t mean that you automatically stop doing the things you love. It’s a push to do them more; as you spend more time living together, you will inevitably need your own space. This way, you get the best of both worlds; when you are home at the same time, you will want to spend those hours together. When you are both out doing something, that is your time for yourself. There will be times when you don’t have anything to do whilst they are out and vice-versa. Take it as an opportunity to have some well-deserved me time or get the house spic and span before they come home to mess it up again…
Oh, and the whole being intimate thing probably helps a lot too.
This is my first time living with a partner and so, you can imagine, it is a completely new experience. I am all about new experiences and new challenges. Falling in love with my home as well as living with someone who makes me laugh until I cry ain’t that bad.
What do you think about making time with your partner? What do you do to spend time together during your hectic lives?
Love, Faye xo