Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it – Thomas Fuller.
It has been four months since Warren and I officially moved in together and just under since we officially moved into our own home. It has been a whirlwind, especially considering we had only met a year previous to our living together. I’ve spoken excessively about long distance relationships before; the cold-hard truth of them, giving tips on how to make it work and how sometimes it just, unfortunately, ends in tears and a broken heart. Warren and I broke that mould and we are a beautiful success story in my eyes. Nevertheless, going from living over one hundred miles away from each other to being in one another’s pockets in one fell swoop is a frightening exhilaration that can test your relationship as well as testing your own sense of self.
Warren and I had talked about moving in together during the second month of our relationship. It got pretty heavy, pretty quickly. I absolutely adored that about our relationship, and I still do. We know which direction we want this to go (with surprises along the way) and we don’t mess around in making it happen. We both decided that I would move down south and it was a decision that, instinctively, was made without a lot of thought to be honest. It was one of those romantic, snap decisions that has worked out for the better. Nevertheless, I won’t deny the doubts that seeped into my mind on occasion, like a dark cloud that spoiled the excitement. Here I was moving my entire life to a completely different area in order to begin a completely new chapter. I kept telling myself that this is what I do: I moved to London at eighteen, Spain at twenty, spent the summer of my twenty-second birthday here, there and everywhere and flew to Australia at twenty-four. I was about to turn twenty-seven, so of course it was time for change. In the end, despite my doubts and despite various other factors, I got a job and I moved to The Cotswolds to be with the man I love.
I think we were both a little apprehensive, beneath all the excitement. I know I was; I had never lived with a partner before, never made that commitment to another person. Add in the scaremongering fact that running back home if it all went pear-shaped wasn’t exactly a viable option. I hadn’t moved around the corner from home. Mostly, I was happy to be living with Warren, but I missed home like mad and I wasn’t completely myself for a little while. Gone was the girl he’d fallen in love with and here was someone who didn’t understand her emotions half of the time. Warren will completely disagree with me, but to me, that’s how I felt about myself. Everything was new. I had a new job, a new home; lots of things were going on behind closed doors that affected me in a way that I never want to have to deal with again in my life. I felt like the timing of my life was laughing hysterically in my face. Through it all, Warren was a Godsend, my literal knight in shining armour who has the most patient heart… until my mind goes into overdrive and I’m trying to do too many things at once.
In all honesty, I thought moving in together would have been a lot harder than it has been. I am a very independent person. I love having my own space for hours on end. A necessity in my life is to be alone and read a book or write a blog post or three. I think that maybe a naïve part of me assumed that we would do every single thing together which we don’t obviously, because we also have our own separate lives. That being said, we do spend a lot of time together (again, obviously). We love our Saturdays together when we go and explore a new castle or town or go shopping and have date nights. We make tea for one another and sit down together to watch films or a TV series. At night, we go to bed together for the most part. I used to love having my bed to myself; now, it feels strange if Warren comes to bed later than me, or if he is away for the weekend. It sounds really weird and corny, but I feel like I haven’t seen him in ages if we don’t go to bed at the same time. When he is away for the weekend, I’m convinced that somebody is trying to get into the house whilst I’m in bed at night. It is so strange how quickly some things change when you move in with someone, but some things stay the same. I still love to lie in the middle of bed and starfish too.
Being in a long distance relationship is a magical thing: you defy all odds of making things work. Nevertheless, when you finally close the distance and begin the next chapter of your relationship, that is when you realise how lucky you really are for having someone who was willing to go the distance with you in the first place. When you realise that you can make it work as a “normal” couple and not a long-distance one, that’s just a necessary bonus!
How did you feel when you moved in with your long distance partner? Was it everything you could have hoped for? Or, are you still waiting for the day when everything will slot into place?
Love, Faye xo